rigidridr's Cancer Blog
August 19, 2008
| Test Day | Views: 589 |
All my studying paid off! Not only did I pass but it only took one try. Man! Those cups are small…lol
Today I am better. Yesterday I was horrible. I feel as if I am playing Russian Roulette. Every six months I load up the gun, give it a spin and pull the trigger. Afterward I am so agitated from the build up that I can not enjoy the victory. I am just wound up. So I left the Doc’s and went to the tattoo shop, Dave is drawing me a revolver with one bullet. To a lot of people that may sounds morbid, but I have given up explaining how I feel about cancer to people who are not in the club. I have given up and decided, “If I have to explain, you won’t understand”. After the tattoo appointment was made I was off to get 2 diet Cokes and head to the cemetery to see my brother and have a drink with him. I talked…I screamed…I poured out his Coke and drank mine. I wiped off his stone, told him I loved him, climbed on my bike and headed home. Home to hug my wife and kids, pet the puppies and spend next 6 months prepping for the next spin…
I pray your days are filled with wonder and your pains are shortlived. Love to all who are on this path and all who faithfully stand on the sidelines and cheer.
Mac
Deb Wellman 
Thanks for your support -
Oh the amount of suffering the Lord allows us to endure. Don’t doubt; just hope and pray you have eluded the bullet once again. I’m sure you have.
You are in my prayers as always,
Gem
Mac; did you ever wonder why you were born with a gift to write people such understanding of the point you are making, and clearly showing us just what you mean? God gave you that talent but mostly I think you have been working on it all your life. Whenever I read your posts I am turned around, looking at my own feelings to see if I am in your pool. Well guess I am but the humour the humour is so important here. Through such anger and pain you manage to pull it off every time and that’s why you have become a leader of sorts. Someone we look up to for guidance. And sorry you don’t need that responsibility but here you are faithfully communicating with the group. Now that gun with a bullet tatoo – pretty funny ha ha. You sure are a sucker for pain. Well now that this 6 months has passed and you spun the cup, just think you have another 6 months to play, get giddy, go ridin, get tatooing, and of course get scared all over again. I know it and feel it. Thanks always for the wishes Mac. Congrats on the outcome. Weezie
Another one bites the dust! And I’m wondering when you’re going to show us all these tats?! Big hugs, man!